It's been awhile and I'm coming around. I will posting a pregnancy Vlog soon...editing it. Just wanted to say Hi and I've missed you all. I love all your sweet comments and encouragement. Well today I am week 15= 3 months. I go in for an ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid. I will update you in the Vlog. My doctor was a little concerned just wants to check make sure everything is going well. Fear was starting to set its nasty grip on me, but I reminded myself I serve an Amazing God and all is in His hands. He will give me what I can handle...He's got it no matter the outcome. He is in control...not me. Trust. Trust. Trust. Honestly...it can be hard...the unknown. Let go and let God
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)
My last appt., last week, I wasn't doing so well, had a set back and lost more weight. Ive lost 20lbs in 1 1/2 months. This week has been a better week. I think of how I've tried to lose 15 lbs for the longest time and right before I got pregnant I was on my way. Check out CrafTEA Mom blog for that. But I never would have thought I would lose it like this and so quickly. I was getting down and scared about it because now I'm trying to gain weight to be healthy. Weird how things change. But I feel now I'm at a vantage point. I have an opportunity to continue to be a good steward of this body God has entrusted me with.
There was one night I thought I would not make it through the night. I was so weak and felt like my body was shutting down. I hadn't eaten the whole week, just couldnt. The disease was getting the best of me. I remember praying to God and just crying to Him and was so fearful but in the end of my cry my prayer I fully and completly surrendered my life up to him. It was all I had left and all i could do at that point...I was at my end, so I thought. For me I learned what it truly meant to surrender. I've surrendered many things in my life and have taken them back and surrendered them, all in my mind. But this was tangible, it was so real. I know when we surrender things we cant really see that or I don't know how to explain that part. But this I could feel it, it was right there it was a teue surrender. it was a life changing moment for me. I know this was part of Gods plan for me. And sometimes we go through things for our own good and His purpose. It may not be lovely at the time but the outcome always is. And God has allowed for this to happen, have to think positive about it and something he showed me.
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:11-13 NKJV)
I don't have it all together and I never will. I am a work in progress, I will never be finished. I will fail you and you will fail me, I will be a let down and they the same, I will hurt them and they will hurt me. We all fall short of Gods glory, we all have our messes and shortcomings in this life. We will never be perfect until we reach heaven. We need to give each other breaks, show Gods grace and mercy. Bring the good out of others and put in the good into to others...Jesus. It's what it's all about...if we hold on to the past we will be miserable. Don't waste your life away on something that happened. What did Jesus do, he forgave even his worst of enemies, the people who killed Him. How much more we need to do that. We all hurt and all need Gods grace and mercy, it's what he's done for me and you. It's the least we can do for Him....to shine the light.
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