Monday, April 16, 2012

Beauty from Ashes! Part 2

{If you have not read Part 1 click here and read it first}

I still tear up when I think back of how the Lord spoke to me 12 years ago. I was a broken, young girl, single mother, divorced, wretched soul, who did not know what she was going to do. All she wanted was to be and feel loved. That's all she wanted and would she ever find it? Let's find out.......

I was so excited after that beautiful day of Easter 2000. I remember telling my mom and telling my family, but they thought I was crazy {some still think I am -lol}!! I even called Michael he thought I was crazy as well. I was at church everyday of the week except for Wed. It was my home and the people were my family. We were very small back then and it was like my second home. I gleaned and learned as much as I could. My void was being filled to the top, to was so overwhelming, in a good way. All I could do was love back. But I still had struggles and I still had the divorce to deal with. This part I hadn't surrendered to the Lord. I wanted to have control of this part. He {my-ex/husband now} wasn't going to get any control of this part of my life. I was in control of it and no one else, it was the only control I had. But God kept tugging at my part to surrender it to Him. It would take me three years to finally surrender. I remember I started to pray "God change my heart...change me Lord." I remember talking to a friend and she had asked if I would ever get back with him and I said would totally have to be God. It was just impossible to me.

God started doing a work in my heart shortly after that, He was changing my heart and little did I know what He was about to ask of me. He wanted me to ask Michael if he would join me and our daughter to an amusement park. I had an extra ticket and it was Christmas, it was the least I could do. It was Christmas time and I'm sure our daughter wanted us together. Me and Michael hardly spoke to eachother it was just akward. Michael had wanted 50-50 custody of her,  because I had full custody of our daughter. I told him No everytime, I wrestled with this for awhile, and that would mean I lose control. And one day the Lord started to tug on my heart and He said.....give him 50-50.  I struggled and fought with the Lord and I finally surrendered it to Him. And so after the Amusement park we went to eat and that is when I told him I would give him 50-50. But something was happening in my heart, that I wasn't fully aware of. When I told Michael that I was giving him 50-50 I saw the joy in his eyes and on his face.  My hardened cement heart.....began to break, peices began to chip away, it was softening. What was going on with me I thought? I could not control it and I don't think I wanted to. Because love was filling that part of my heart that I kept hidden and locked for so long.  I was very good at blocking out certain things in my life and having no feelings or emotions for my divorce. I never grieved it, I never thought about it, I just tucked it back way deep, deep, deep in my heart and put bolt locks on it, and so many other locks on it. No one could get in. It was too never be open because I had control over this door

I had finally let go of what God had wanted me too. He wanted full access to my heart. And I gave it to Him. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I remember there was a day where I just cried over my divorce and all that I did. I asked God for forgiveness.....I did not know what was going on with my heart. But I could feel the cement peices chipping away. God whispered something to me again...."Ask Michael Back for a second chance". My flesh started to puff up I just gave him back 50-50 now this. I said back with shock..."Are You crazy God?" {exact words}, I said " Did You forget what we went through in our divorce?". Did you forget all those hurtful things he did, Did You forget Lord!!!!Did you forget how ugly our divorce was, Did you forget how much I hate this man and how much he hates me" I just gave him the last bit of control I had and you want me to do what? At first I was angry. But my heart God was changing. Deep, deep down inside I wanted it.....I wanted my family back. But my pride kept getting in the way.

God so gently whispered to me " My daughter I want this, I want to take it from you won't you give me the key? Lord, I can' hurts too much Lord. What if, what will happen, I can't Lord, I can't. God gently and so lovingly whispered to me Trust me my daughter. And I began to weep, and weep uncontrollably. And then I gave him the key and He wiped it all clean. I cried and cried and surrendered. My heart was soft again.....The words walk by faith not by sight, walk by faith not by sight kept going over and over in my head. Trust me

And so I did, a week later in December of 2002 I made a phone call to Michael. I was so very nervous and didn't know what I was going to say. So I asked him to meet me for lunch. I wrestled with it for awhile, all these thoughts were running through my head. Would he accept what I'd have to say. Woudl he think I'm crazy. So we met and he got straight to it, why did you call me here and so I asked him " I want to ask you for a second chance?" I want to ask you back? The look of shock crossed his face. Oh no, what is he going to say. Oh my goodness what did I just do? Those seconds of silence seemed like an eternity. He had thought I was going to tell him I was getting married or I was pregnant. He didn't expect what I had just said. What is Michael going to say???

To be continued.....I don't mean to keep you in suspense but this is where I must stop. Come back soon for part 3.

Thank you for stopping by. I pray that my testimony will minister to you. Would you surrender all to God, all of what He is asking of you. Do it, you will blessed beyond measure I promise.

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What is the Truth?

What is the truth?
Truth is not a feeling. Truth is not an idea. The truth is found in the Bible.Sincerity and good works do not bridge the gap of sin between God and man. Only the blood of Jesus can cleanse a person (Heb. 9:22; John 14:6). Sincerity and good works are merely the reliance upon what is in the individual to merit favor with God. Sincerity is a form of pride when it is appealed to as a justification for being accepted by God: "But God, look at my heart. See how sincere I was? I deserve to be in heaven."No. If sincerity and good works were good enough to satisfy God, then He wouldn't have given us the Bible to correct our sincerely wrong ideas, and He wouldn't have sent His Son to do what our good works cannot.Truth is what God says is true.The truth is important not because it is simply true. It is important because truth is what defines who and what we believe in.Eternity is a long time to be wrong. Especially about Jesus.

What me and my Family Believe

What We Believe
WE BELIEVE the worship of God should be spiritual! Therefore we remain flexible so the Holy Spirit may direct our worship.
WE BELIEVE the worship of God should be inspirational! Therefore we give a great place to music in our worship.
WE BELIEVE the worship of God should be intelligent! Therefore, in our services, we emphasize Bible teaching so God may instruct us how He would be worshipped.
WE BELIEVE the worship of God should be fruitful! Therefore we look for His love in our lives as the greatest evidence that we are truly worshipping Him.

How To Know God

How to Know God

Realize that you are a sinner. No matter how good a life we try to live, we still fall miserably short of being a good person. That is because we are all sinners. We all fall short of God’s desire for us to be holy. The Bible says, “No one is good—not even one” (Romans 3:10 NLT). This is because we cannot become who we are supposed to be without Jesus Christ.Recognize that Jesus Christ died on the cross for you.The Bible tells us, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while were still sinners” (Romans 5:8 NLT). This is the Good News, that God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place when we least deserved it.Repent of your sin.The Bible tells us to “repent and be converted” (Acts 3:19 NKJV). The word repent means to change our direction in life. Instead of running from God, we can run toward Him.Receive Jesus Christ into your life.Becoming a Christian is not merely believing some creed or going to church on Sunday. It is having Christ Himself take residence in your life and heart. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door (of your life) and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in...” (Revelation 3:20 NKJV).

If you would like to have a relationship with Christ, simply pray this prayer and mean it in your heart.

Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe you died for my sins. Right now, I turn from my sins and open the door of my heart and life. I confess you as my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you for saving me. Amen.If you just prayed that prayer and meant it, Jesus Christ has now taken residence in your heart! Your decision to follow Christ means God has forgiven you and that you will spend eternity in heaven.

The Bible tells us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).

Praise the Lord, if you just asked Jesus in your heart I want you to know that the Angels in Heaven are rejoicing for you and so am I. Go to and click on churches to find the closest church to you and go. Go and tell them that you've just accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart. They will be able to lead you to the next step.

God Bless you Brethren.
In the Mighty Name of Jesus!!! Amen!!!
Your sister in Christ Jesus!!!